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The interior cup of a Meddlesome journey

This is the not-so-daily thoughts of an aspiring film maker as he makes his way through Hollywood.

pauljuno:

paint that imitates agate

Roommate and good friend Paul Juno is up on Tumblr again. He is an incredible artist. Congrats buddy! 

pauljuno:

paint that imitates agate

Roommate and good friend Paul Juno is up on Tumblr again. He is an incredible artist. Congrats buddy! 

The reason Tumblr was really created was not your shitty gifs that prove relevant for that 1 second. It was for sharing great things. Original ideas and original content. As I lack the time commitment to create on my own, I instead give you Leo. Enjoy.

fistfulloffilm:

The Disillusionment of Windchasing Ethics
I was meeting up with a friend in West Hollywood last night, we met, had a drink and then I had to leave, so if you are reading, sorry for cutting short, I had something on my mind.  Sitting there I was getting fidgitty, uncomfortable recognizing something in myself, and I couldn’t help the overwhelming feeling to get out.  In bars, in clubs, the music of the night drowning out the sounds of the disconnected pleas for relevance and meaning.  The beautiful people with the long legs accentuated by the heels, proportionally as long as the cologne is strong, the wandering eyes of the directionless, the questions shoved down, likely not to surface again till the next Saturday night.  The Vacancy of Connection, you could feel it, you could see it, in the illuminated face of the iphone light, the empty look, as she scrolls with her thumb, her countenance impervious to the melodic, overmodulated beat of auditory sex. The whole scene playing out to the answers we all already know, that we would rather be someplace else, doing something else with someone else.
Most people can only find relevance outside themselves, in their children, in their cause, in their ability to process their passion into something extrinsically that feeds their soul intrinsically.  I know that’s true for me, focusing on my life pursuits, doesn’t satisfy as much as playing GiJoes with my son, or looking into my daughter’s eyes and telling her how beautiful she is to me.  So being out tonight, on the street where Meaning, Purpose or Relevance are searched for, either in the experience, or in the heart of someone else, or the importance of what can be got for me, me, and me, I was bludgeoned by the awareness of the emptiness that surrounds any place that has a crowd.  Distracting us from ourselves.
I’ve been traveling lately, and its been also a placebo for dealing with the questions.  Its also quite dehumanizing by design.  The hotel life still feels sterile, the plane ride is as much and the hot towels in Lufthansa can’t wash away the shades of neglect and oversight in our minds that are stumbling towards oblivion.  
Cab Fare, Boarding Pass, Passport, Smile to TSA as they make sure its you, Shoes off, Laptop separate, nothing in pockets, OPT OUT, hands apart, no I don’t need a private screening, wait for the beep, grab shit, put shoes on, grab more shit, stuff laptop back, find gate, take a leak, find out filling food that isn’t going to make your gut explode, do no cardio on the plane, pass out as if sharing a bed with a stranger(because you are), this fucking seat sucks, Ginger Ale please, seatbacks up, LAND, power phone on, PING PING PING PING PING, Triage all the messages, Grab shit, this terminal smells like dead feet, Cab Fare, Hotel Check in, Bed that looks like all the rest, shoes off, take a crap.
Its there at that moment do I get a chance to catch up with the people that mean the most to me, and we do so online, while I sit on the toilet looking at Apps on my phone.  Its the only quiet time I really have anymore.  I see the pictures of family, of friends, of their kids.  Cousins acting like goofballs, did she really wear that?, comment, comment, then crap.  This as real as it can get, while the pulse of the news feed marches on.  Everything designed to take us from understanding and knowing who we are.  We are just playing at who we are, living up to the Facebook, providing fodder for the Instagram.  Promoting to the illusions, that this Trip and this Light are really Fantastic.  But that’s all it is.  Fantasy.
The more I move outwardly, the more I do outwardly, the less I look inwardly the less I understand myself.  We all do it.  A system of Invisible Boy Scout Badges, either real or imagined, that we collect, and attribute to our life’s pursuit.
Focault was right about society, and that there really is  ’a hierarchical organization of values, accessible to everybody, but at the same time the occasion of a mechanism of selection and exclusion.’  And I do it every day.  I partake in the great and small, and medium sized divides of propaganda I spit out on my phones, in my dress, in my actions, in the words I choose, in the cars I surround myself in.  But for what?  To distance myself from others?  To showcase that, “I’m okay? ”  Why?  To live life to its fullest?  I know that’s the cover answer, but seriously we still haven’t answered Gauguin’s Questions:  ”D’où Venons Nous / Que Sommes Nous / Où Allons Nous.”  They sit like a Judge, impartial to testimony, or slick-tounged lawyer or feeling, and these questions sit there, unanswered, immobile and very very quiet.
So instead of answering them, we build skyscrapers, fashion jets to go four and five times sound, parade fashion with celebrity vehicles, to take away from those questions that haunt, and buy time we can’t afford to hopefully expire before we can answer them.  Essentially life becomes a game of not answering those questions.  It becomes as futile as getting angry at a person on the ground wearing a uniform that matches one on a plane that’s in the air on a flight that I just missed.
We are all fighting invisible battles for relevance, for acceptance, for being understood and being connected.  So why do I do so many things externally to distract me from being at peace, right here, and chilling the fuck out?  Before I can answer that, a PING comes in, and off I go down the rabbit hole, looking at my pocket watch.
Munich, Germany
Leica M6 35mm Summicron Portra 160 NC

The reason Tumblr was really created was not your shitty gifs that prove relevant for that 1 second. It was for sharing great things. Original ideas and original content. As I lack the time commitment to create on my own, I instead give you Leo. Enjoy.

fistfulloffilm:

The Disillusionment of Windchasing Ethics

I was meeting up with a friend in West Hollywood last night, we met, had a drink and then I had to leave, so if you are reading, sorry for cutting short, I had something on my mind.  Sitting there I was getting fidgitty, uncomfortable recognizing something in myself, and I couldn’t help the overwhelming feeling to get out.  In bars, in clubs, the music of the night drowning out the sounds of the disconnected pleas for relevance and meaning.  The beautiful people with the long legs accentuated by the heels, proportionally as long as the cologne is strong, the wandering eyes of the directionless, the questions shoved down, likely not to surface again till the next Saturday night.  The Vacancy of Connection, you could feel it, you could see it, in the illuminated face of the iphone light, the empty look, as she scrolls with her thumb, her countenance impervious to the melodic, overmodulated beat of auditory sex. The whole scene playing out to the answers we all already know, that we would rather be someplace else, doing something else with someone else.

Most people can only find relevance outside themselves, in their children, in their cause, in their ability to process their passion into something extrinsically that feeds their soul intrinsically.  I know that’s true for me, focusing on my life pursuits, doesn’t satisfy as much as playing GiJoes with my son, or looking into my daughter’s eyes and telling her how beautiful she is to me.  So being out tonight, on the street where Meaning, Purpose or Relevance are searched for, either in the experience, or in the heart of someone else, or the importance of what can be got for me, me, and me, I was bludgeoned by the awareness of the emptiness that surrounds any place that has a crowd.  Distracting us from ourselves.

I’ve been traveling lately, and its been also a placebo for dealing with the questions.  Its also quite dehumanizing by design.  The hotel life still feels sterile, the plane ride is as much and the hot towels in Lufthansa can’t wash away the shades of neglect and oversight in our minds that are stumbling towards oblivion.  

Cab Fare, Boarding Pass, Passport, Smile to TSA as they make sure its you, Shoes off, Laptop separate, nothing in pockets, OPT OUT, hands apart, no I don’t need a private screening, wait for the beep, grab shit, put shoes on, grab more shit, stuff laptop back, find gate, take a leak, find out filling food that isn’t going to make your gut explode, do no cardio on the plane, pass out as if sharing a bed with a stranger(because you are), this fucking seat sucks, Ginger Ale please, seatbacks up, LAND, power phone on, PING PING PING PING PING, Triage all the messages, Grab shit, this terminal smells like dead feet, Cab Fare, Hotel Check in, Bed that looks like all the rest, shoes off, take a crap.

Its there at that moment do I get a chance to catch up with the people that mean the most to me, and we do so online, while I sit on the toilet looking at Apps on my phone.  Its the only quiet time I really have anymore.  I see the pictures of family, of friends, of their kids.  Cousins acting like goofballs, did she really wear that?, comment, comment, then crap.  This as real as it can get, while the pulse of the news feed marches on.  Everything designed to take us from understanding and knowing who we are.  We are just playing at who we are, living up to the Facebook, providing fodder for the Instagram.  Promoting to the illusions, that this Trip and this Light are really Fantastic.  But that’s all it is.  Fantasy.

The more I move outwardly, the more I do outwardly, the less I look inwardly the less I understand myself.  We all do it.  A system of Invisible Boy Scout Badges, either real or imagined, that we collect, and attribute to our life’s pursuit.

Focault was right about society, and that there really is  ’a hierarchical organization of values, accessible to everybody, but at the same time the occasion of a mechanism of selection and exclusion.’  And I do it every day.  I partake in the great and small, and medium sized divides of propaganda I spit out on my phones, in my dress, in my actions, in the words I choose, in the cars I surround myself in.  But for what?  To distance myself from others?  To showcase that, “I’m okay? ”  Why?  To live life to its fullest?  I know that’s the cover answer, but seriously we still haven’t answered Gauguin’s Questions:  ”D’où Venons Nous / Que Sommes Nous / Où Allons Nous.”  They sit like a Judge, impartial to testimony, or slick-tounged lawyer or feeling, and these questions sit there, unanswered, immobile and very very quiet.

So instead of answering them, we build skyscrapers, fashion jets to go four and five times sound, parade fashion with celebrity vehicles, to take away from those questions that haunt, and buy time we can’t afford to hopefully expire before we can answer them.  Essentially life becomes a game of not answering those questions.  It becomes as futile as getting angry at a person on the ground wearing a uniform that matches one on a plane that’s in the air on a flight that I just missed.

We are all fighting invisible battles for relevance, for acceptance, for being understood and being connected.  So why do I do so many things externally to distract me from being at peace, right here, and chilling the fuck out?  Before I can answer that, a PING comes in, and off I go down the rabbit hole, looking at my pocket watch.

Munich, Germany

Leica M6 35mm Summicron Portra 160 NC

Trying to pull focus off of still photography lenses…

cameraassistants:

image

fistfulloffilm:

The Right Stuff
The attributes on what it takes to make a movie are lost on most people.  Its this nebulous world where you really cannot understand until your knee deep in the shit that it takes to make it work.  And if you made it that far, then you’re a lifer.  Nothing else compares in our modern day society.  Nothing parallels, slaving away for about 14 hours a day, months on end, for a 2 hour movie you may or may not watch.  
I tried multiple times for my ex-wife to come to set and try and have her understand exactly what it was I did, but often times an outsider will often leave inside of an hour if they are not understanding of the process.  Its typical of rejecting or poking fun of something you have no understanding about.  I’ve spent years in the trenches, and I find myself doing the work, regardless of the pay.  I was recently driving to set two nights ago, on free job, even though I had my own job the next day a few hours later, and I found myself working for free.
The idea that finding what it is that you love to do, and doing it, and you never work a day has some validity to it.  In this process I’ve kept an awareness, a sense of human purpose, and ability to see the fruits of it either tangible or internal.
It starts with a group of people who share the same intuition, and passion.  Who, side by side, can’t think of any other place they would rather be than right there on that movie set.
I’m the Cinematographer of the group, and for those of you who don’t know, its the guy taking notes from the Director, and making it happen with his right hand man (the gaffer), and together we create the look and movement of what the camera sees.  And it is a gas.  The way I use to describe it is this idea that you formulate in your mind as you read a book, on how it would look like from chapter to chapter, how you envision the characters to be, and how you see the action taking place, that’s what its like.  Only we take a step further and start creating the tangible from the imagined.  
Personally I can root all this back to GiJoe/Star Wars action figures.  The diorama of the saga between Cobra Commander and Duke and the Joes, utilizing shoe boxes, fishing line, gasoline mixed with soap, and perhaps a fort made from sand and twigs, is the precursor to Free Standing sets, Wire Harnesses, Demo Crews, and some Art Direction.  Being a Cinematographer has allowed me to light and photograph according to the mood and feel and where it is in the timeline.  Remember sometimes you would get at eye level with your toys, and pantomime their bodies in sync with the dialogues you created from your 7 year old self?  What I do, is that “eye level” part, only instead of just resting my chin on the floor next to the bumper of one of those plastic vehicles, now I use a 15-30lb Motion Picture camera on 600lb steel cart.  
But unlike photography, you can’t do this alone.  It is a dance between, sound sensitivity, dolly speed, focus points, electric power, solar power, exposure, composition, line delivery, actors blocking, weather continuity, visual continuity, camera configuration, and time.  And after all those hurdles, the Director has to approve it.  And even though you may harness lighting in the bottle 3-4 times out of the multiple takes one might do, of those 3 takes, one would be selected, and of that one selection, what would be utilized would be 30% if that.  
So you might ask, who would want to work on such a thing?  Well have you seen the Goonies?  Have you seen Armageddon?  Raiders of the Lost Ark?  Have you ever quoted an Adam Sandler movie?  Have you ever said:  ”There is No Spoon.”  Have you found parallels of your own life, in a film that resonated with you?  Did you see parallels in whatever your Faith believes?  Have you transformed your own life due to inspiration from an idea you had seen depicted on screen?  Did you cry in “Up?”  Did you identify with Jean Val Jean?  Do you quote obscure Star Wars lines while working on the house?  Do you dance like Napoleon Dynamite to Jamiroquai?  Do You Dream in Technicolor?  Do you get submerged in Hitchcock Films?
Well, if you said yes to those things, it was guys like my guys here in this photograph, that brought all those ideas and dreams and inspirations to your Theater or DVR box.  And even though we are all just trying to make it, it cannot be denied that we have the Right Stuff to do exactly what our predecessors did.  We were getting a bite to eat before the public screening and I took this shot on the Leica.   The poignant nature of this photograph is touching seeing as though we are responsible for so much more on a movie set, and to be just here relaxing, away from the fanfare, and the stress.  Because aside from being talented at what you do, you’ve got to like each other a whole lot for 14 hours everyday.
“We’re your Huckleberry, that’s just Our Game.”
Pasadena, CA
Leica M6 35mm Summicron @ 2.8,  Agfa Retro 80

fistfulloffilm:

The Right Stuff

The attributes on what it takes to make a movie are lost on most people.  Its this nebulous world where you really cannot understand until your knee deep in the shit that it takes to make it work.  And if you made it that far, then you’re a lifer.  Nothing else compares in our modern day society.  Nothing parallels, slaving away for about 14 hours a day, months on end, for a 2 hour movie you may or may not watch.  

I tried multiple times for my ex-wife to come to set and try and have her understand exactly what it was I did, but often times an outsider will often leave inside of an hour if they are not understanding of the process.  Its typical of rejecting or poking fun of something you have no understanding about.  I’ve spent years in the trenches, and I find myself doing the work, regardless of the pay.  I was recently driving to set two nights ago, on free job, even though I had my own job the next day a few hours later, and I found myself working for free.

The idea that finding what it is that you love to do, and doing it, and you never work a day has some validity to it.  In this process I’ve kept an awareness, a sense of human purpose, and ability to see the fruits of it either tangible or internal.

It starts with a group of people who share the same intuition, and passion.  Who, side by side, can’t think of any other place they would rather be than right there on that movie set.

I’m the Cinematographer of the group, and for those of you who don’t know, its the guy taking notes from the Director, and making it happen with his right hand man (the gaffer), and together we create the look and movement of what the camera sees.  And it is a gas.  The way I use to describe it is this idea that you formulate in your mind as you read a book, on how it would look like from chapter to chapter, how you envision the characters to be, and how you see the action taking place, that’s what its like.  Only we take a step further and start creating the tangible from the imagined.  

Personally I can root all this back to GiJoe/Star Wars action figures.  The diorama of the saga between Cobra Commander and Duke and the Joes, utilizing shoe boxes, fishing line, gasoline mixed with soap, and perhaps a fort made from sand and twigs, is the precursor to Free Standing sets, Wire Harnesses, Demo Crews, and some Art Direction.  Being a Cinematographer has allowed me to light and photograph according to the mood and feel and where it is in the timeline.  Remember sometimes you would get at eye level with your toys, and pantomime their bodies in sync with the dialogues you created from your 7 year old self?  What I do, is that “eye level” part, only instead of just resting my chin on the floor next to the bumper of one of those plastic vehicles, now I use a 15-30lb Motion Picture camera on 600lb steel cart.  

But unlike photography, you can’t do this alone.  It is a dance between, sound sensitivity, dolly speed, focus points, electric power, solar power, exposure, composition, line delivery, actors blocking, weather continuity, visual continuity, camera configuration, and time.  And after all those hurdles, the Director has to approve it.  And even though you may harness lighting in the bottle 3-4 times out of the multiple takes one might do, of those 3 takes, one would be selected, and of that one selection, what would be utilized would be 30% if that.  

So you might ask, who would want to work on such a thing?  Well have you seen the Goonies?  Have you seen Armageddon?  Raiders of the Lost Ark?  Have you ever quoted an Adam Sandler movie?  Have you ever said:  ”There is No Spoon.”  Have you found parallels of your own life, in a film that resonated with you?  Did you see parallels in whatever your Faith believes?  Have you transformed your own life due to inspiration from an idea you had seen depicted on screen?  Did you cry in “Up?”  Did you identify with Jean Val Jean?  Do you quote obscure Star Wars lines while working on the house?  Do you dance like Napoleon Dynamite to Jamiroquai?  Do You Dream in Technicolor?  Do you get submerged in Hitchcock Films?

Well, if you said yes to those things, it was guys like my guys here in this photograph, that brought all those ideas and dreams and inspirations to your Theater or DVR box.  And even though we are all just trying to make it, it cannot be denied that we have the Right Stuff to do exactly what our predecessors did.  We were getting a bite to eat before the public screening and I took this shot on the Leica.   The poignant nature of this photograph is touching seeing as though we are responsible for so much more on a movie set, and to be just here relaxing, away from the fanfare, and the stress.  Because aside from being talented at what you do, you’ve got to like each other a whole lot for 14 hours everyday.

“We’re your Huckleberry, that’s just Our Game.”

Pasadena, CA

Leica M6 35mm Summicron @ 2.8,  Agfa Retro 80

Sully on Flickr.New pic from the Baby Grey RolleiVia Flickr:
Rolleiflex [Baby Grey]
4x4
EFKE 100
f/3.5 Schneider Lens
Ryan Sullivan. 1st Assistant Camera, and friend of mine. The hardest working, most dedicated AC in the business.

Sully on Flickr.

New pic from the Baby Grey Rollei

Via Flickr:
Rolleiflex [Baby Grey]
4x4
EFKE 100
f/3.5 Schneider Lens

Ryan Sullivan. 1st Assistant Camera, and friend of mine. The hardest working, most dedicated AC in the business.

fistfulloffilm:

Living across a Wire
The tragedy of life is only eclipsed by the sweetness of the kindred, and not only is that so true especially now in the hardest parts of  this new way of life.  All along there has been a friend who was there for me, for when the world shook, and left me in the scrapes, there was this girl who held my heart, and protected it through encouragement across a telephone wire.  When dad died, (a phrase I use often, in many ways was a turning point to begin living), the way she cried in the silence that distance creates, when she knew she couldn’t be there to help, spoke volumes to me in ways that hope can heal.
We often found ourselves encircling each other paths, like small moons in apogee and perigee orbits sometimes intersecting, and most times not.  Between us both, we’ve lived across four states, in twice as many years, and twice more than that in the number of physical addresses we’ve had.  But none of those limitations made a play on us like it does in the world as we all know it.  Distance was to be laughed at times, even though we wished it wasn’t a factor.  Because nothing seemed to close the distance in our perceptions of each other.  It was like we were always there in some shape, form, song, color, shape, or idea.  Sitting alone in traffic on the 101, I-35E, 436, or the Mopac, we were still there together.  A conversation with others leads to a saying, an idea, a reminder.  A blur of hair color on another girl.  A lyric, a book, a memory, a saying, a notion and a feeling that would snap a reminder in each of our minds towards the other.  Like many friends, we’ve all found and lost love in our life.  Had our hearts torn from us, and unlike many, have an appreciation and a perspective on Living since we’ve lived so long without it at times.  Because we are still here.
Friends like this don’t come and go.  And its because of the momentous points of interest in the journey of our lives, that it feels natural to be there when her son is born, to encourage me when I’m fighting for my own children, to encourage each other’s art and what makes us passionate, and its because of that closeness, that bond, that connection unlike any other, that can softly whisper the words of comfort at the end of a phone conversation, that can isolate and nullify at least in part, the pain.
People refer to others like this as angels, mystics, or soulmates, an idea of friend who completely knows you and all your faults, and doesn’t give a shit at the pre-judgements that others might have made.  A friend who forgives, who sees you at face value, for what you are, for the sake of returning to the trust, that bond, that haven from the sheltering sky of harshness the rest of the world can dish out.  Many have heard description on this topic, but I’m certain we all know what it is.  And it is this image, that I feel captures perfectly that genuine character of her, and how she sees me.
St. Paul, MN
Leica M6 50mm Summilux Expired Vericolor 160

fistfulloffilm:

Living across a Wire

The tragedy of life is only eclipsed by the sweetness of the kindred, and not only is that so true especially now in the hardest parts of  this new way of life.  All along there has been a friend who was there for me, for when the world shook, and left me in the scrapes, there was this girl who held my heart, and protected it through encouragement across a telephone wire.  When dad died, (a phrase I use often, in many ways was a turning point to begin living), the way she cried in the silence that distance creates, when she knew she couldn’t be there to help, spoke volumes to me in ways that hope can heal.

We often found ourselves encircling each other paths, like small moons in apogee and perigee orbits sometimes intersecting, and most times not.  Between us both, we’ve lived across four states, in twice as many years, and twice more than that in the number of physical addresses we’ve had.  But none of those limitations made a play on us like it does in the world as we all know it.  Distance was to be laughed at times, even though we wished it wasn’t a factor.  Because nothing seemed to close the distance in our perceptions of each other.  It was like we were always there in some shape, form, song, color, shape, or idea.  Sitting alone in traffic on the 101, I-35E, 436, or the Mopac, we were still there together.  A conversation with others leads to a saying, an idea, a reminder.  A blur of hair color on another girl.  A lyric, a book, a memory, a saying, a notion and a feeling that would snap a reminder in each of our minds towards the other.  Like many friends, we’ve all found and lost love in our life.  Had our hearts torn from us, and unlike many, have an appreciation and a perspective on Living since we’ve lived so long without it at times.  Because we are still here.

Friends like this don’t come and go.  And its because of the momentous points of interest in the journey of our lives, that it feels natural to be there when her son is born, to encourage me when I’m fighting for my own children, to encourage each other’s art and what makes us passionate, and its because of that closeness, that bond, that connection unlike any other, that can softly whisper the words of comfort at the end of a phone conversation, that can isolate and nullify at least in part, the pain.

People refer to others like this as angels, mystics, or soulmates, an idea of friend who completely knows you and all your faults, and doesn’t give a shit at the pre-judgements that others might have made.  A friend who forgives, who sees you at face value, for what you are, for the sake of returning to the trust, that bond, that haven from the sheltering sky of harshness the rest of the world can dish out.  Many have heard description on this topic, but I’m certain we all know what it is.  And it is this image, that I feel captures perfectly that genuine character of her, and how she sees me.

St. Paul, MN

Leica M6 50mm Summilux Expired Vericolor 160

Right Side uP on Flickr.Hasselblad 500 C/M
80mm f/2.8 Zeiss
Fujifilm Instant (Polaroid) FP-3000B
Location: North Hollywood
Sometimes you just need the right kind of inspiration to try different things, or to push yourself a little bit further. It’s awhile since I’ve been motivated to post. Time, or rather the lack of, is the biggest culprit. But I believe there’s a hunger that exists in all of us. Some call it drive, or willpower, or God. I’m unable to land on anything specific, but I’m realizing that’s not the point. The point is fulfilling that moment we feel we need to spring into action. That moment of spontaneity. Giving into that energy is like riding a large ocean wave into the surf. Excitement, unknowing, and joy. Loving the unknown but knowing there’s more abound.

Right Side uP on Flickr.

Hasselblad 500 C/M
80mm f/2.8 Zeiss
Fujifilm Instant (Polaroid) FP-3000B
Location: North Hollywood

Sometimes you just need the right kind of inspiration to try different things, or to push yourself a little bit further. It’s awhile since I’ve been motivated to post. Time, or rather the lack of, is the biggest culprit. But I believe there’s a hunger that exists in all of us. Some call it drive, or willpower, or God. I’m unable to land on anything specific, but I’m realizing that’s not the point. The point is fulfilling that moment we feel we need to spring into action. That moment of spontaneity. Giving into that energy is like riding a large ocean wave into the surf. Excitement, unknowing, and joy. Loving the unknown but knowing there’s more abound.

It might be a little tacky to reblog a post about yourself. But, here I am.
If you don’t know who www.fistfulloffilm.com is, you need to. This man is a wealth of knowledge and an inspiration. Not to mention, an integral member of my LA family. Thank you Leo. For everything.
Enjoy life people.
-NK
fistfulloffilm:

Kramer
What if I told you, to drop everything you are doing right this second, and said, “we need you, there is no pay, I’m not getting paid, come over here, move two states away, and Maybe, Maybe, I can find you work after this.”  ”Maybe.”
We had a project that shot a few years ago and that’s was the phone call I made to him.  I felt terrible but I was in a pinch since we had no guys here that were qualified we could afford and at the same time, so much was at stake with this project that we couldn’t take chances on rooks.  At the time of the phone call, I could hear him driving around in the Oregonian Wilderness, probably trying to figure out how to pump gas and such things.  But by the end of the call he did the thing that impresses everyone, he did the thing that made no sense.  He said, “Yes.”  In two days we were shooting the project at a soundstage in Los Angeles.  A project that is the on the verge as most are.  
But the real joy was him working as part of the team, and part of the family.  That was two years ago.  Since then, he’s been apart of amazing things, and done great things, he has risen through the ranks, become organized, and focused, and aside from being a little obsessed in survival mode on MW3, he’s my first or second call after the one I initially get from a producer.  Sometimes working on bigger shit than I could have brought him on.  And when I do have a spot on something special in the photo world(since I work in both arenas), and I can fit him in, he will get the call.
Film making is family, you need a crew, a cadre of people you can believe in, you can trust.  A group of guys that will make fun of you to your face, and help push you through wall of fire.  And when you are coordinating with the director and the producer and the 1st AD, you do not worry about what the lights are doing, or how the camera is configured.  You just trust.  Trust in your guys.  That they will stick to the plan, and for the areas that aren’t fully fleshed out, they will improvise on their own.
I will use him as long as I can afford him.  And in the end, I believe why he resonates so closely with me.  Is because his spirit, his drive, and his awareness of being in the now, in the present, reminds me so much of me 7 years ago.  I’m looking at a mirror image of myself.  I can only hope he turns out better than me.
Beverly Hills, CA
Rolleiflex 2.8E 80mm Schnieder-Krueznach Portra 160 NC

It might be a little tacky to reblog a post about yourself. But, here I am.

If you don’t know who www.fistfulloffilm.com is, you need to. This man is a wealth of knowledge and an inspiration. Not to mention, an integral member of my LA family. Thank you Leo. For everything.

Enjoy life people.

-NK

fistfulloffilm:

Kramer

What if I told you, to drop everything you are doing right this second, and said, “we need you, there is no pay, I’m not getting paid, come over here, move two states away, and Maybe, Maybe, I can find you work after this.”  ”Maybe.”

We had a project that shot a few years ago and that’s was the phone call I made to him.  I felt terrible but I was in a pinch since we had no guys here that were qualified we could afford and at the same time, so much was at stake with this project that we couldn’t take chances on rooks.  At the time of the phone call, I could hear him driving around in the Oregonian Wilderness, probably trying to figure out how to pump gas and such things.  But by the end of the call he did the thing that impresses everyone, he did the thing that made no sense.  He said, “Yes.”  In two days we were shooting the project at a soundstage in Los Angeles.  A project that is the on the verge as most are.  

But the real joy was him working as part of the team, and part of the family.  That was two years ago.  Since then, he’s been apart of amazing things, and done great things, he has risen through the ranks, become organized, and focused, and aside from being a little obsessed in survival mode on MW3, he’s my first or second call after the one I initially get from a producer.  Sometimes working on bigger shit than I could have brought him on.  And when I do have a spot on something special in the photo world(since I work in both arenas), and I can fit him in, he will get the call.

Film making is family, you need a crew, a cadre of people you can believe in, you can trust.  A group of guys that will make fun of you to your face, and help push you through wall of fire.  And when you are coordinating with the director and the producer and the 1st AD, you do not worry about what the lights are doing, or how the camera is configured.  You just trust.  Trust in your guys.  That they will stick to the plan, and for the areas that aren’t fully fleshed out, they will improvise on their own.

I will use him as long as I can afford him.  And in the end, I believe why he resonates so closely with me.  Is because his spirit, his drive, and his awareness of being in the now, in the present, reminds me so much of me 7 years ago.  I’m looking at a mirror image of myself.  I can only hope he turns out better than me.

Beverly Hills, CA

Rolleiflex 2.8E 80mm Schnieder-Krueznach Portra 160 NC

I can’t believe I convinced him not to sell it to me. Stupid. ;p Glad he’s shooting with it again. It’s an amazing camera. Read on people, read on.
fistfulloffilm:

Chinatown Revisited
So we shot this video art project that will be shown at the REDCAT theater opening this weekend.  I had the opportunity to be the cinematographer on what essentially was a remake of several scenes of Chinatown.  As a big fan of the movie it was both fun and difficult to remake those iconic scenes.  The actor, Ming Wong, who plays all the parts(yes, you saw that correctly) is seen here as the Jack Gittes character. I exposed for the white suit, and let his face go into shadow on purpose, and I wish he had his sunglasses on, but its close, I wanted to specifically capture the essence of that character, without the details.  
This marks the first time in about 4 months I used the Hasselblad, and I’m dumbfounded by that fact.  I can’t believe I almost sold this thing 6 different times.  I’m thankful I had my friend holding on to it for me, part selfish, and part keeping me from getting my grubby hands on it to sell it.  It takes a ridiculously clean and introspective image.  After returning from Europe this afternoon and then doing all the duties you do when you leave, one of them picking up some film like this, its really ridiculous that I didn’t take it with me to Italy.  Oh well.  Next time I’m in Rome, she’s coming.
Downtown Los Angeles, CA
Hasselblad 500C/M Delta 100 Ilford 80mm Planar

I can’t believe I convinced him not to sell it to me. Stupid. ;p Glad he’s shooting with it again. It’s an amazing camera. Read on people, read on.

fistfulloffilm:

Chinatown Revisited

So we shot this video art project that will be shown at the REDCAT theater opening this weekend.  I had the opportunity to be the cinematographer on what essentially was a remake of several scenes of Chinatown.  As a big fan of the movie it was both fun and difficult to remake those iconic scenes.  The actor, Ming Wong, who plays all the parts(yes, you saw that correctly) is seen here as the Jack Gittes character. I exposed for the white suit, and let his face go into shadow on purpose, and I wish he had his sunglasses on, but its close, I wanted to specifically capture the essence of that character, without the details.  

This marks the first time in about 4 months I used the Hasselblad, and I’m dumbfounded by that fact.  I can’t believe I almost sold this thing 6 different times.  I’m thankful I had my friend holding on to it for me, part selfish, and part keeping me from getting my grubby hands on it to sell it.  It takes a ridiculously clean and introspective image.  After returning from Europe this afternoon and then doing all the duties you do when you leave, one of them picking up some film like this, its really ridiculous that I didn’t take it with me to Italy.  Oh well.  Next time I’m in Rome, she’s coming.

Downtown Los Angeles, CA

Hasselblad 500C/M Delta 100 Ilford 80mm Planar

Air Guitar on Flickr.Hasselblad 500 C/M
80mm f/2.8 Zeiss
Fuji Polaroid FP 100c
Location: Mulholland Drive
There’s a moment in time where nothing else matters. Nothing else exists. It’s complete innocence and absolute serenity. It’s a feeling that boils inside of you. Like pressure from a volcano you hold it back as long as you can until the emotion shoots out without reservation. A beat, a strum, a chord or a voice. Just a simple musical action grabs you from the simple life of humanity and at the speed of thought gets you to involuntarily raise your hands and play the drums, sing along,… or strum the guitar. Air guitar. In that moment it’s just you. The world around you is what you imagine it to be.
youtu.be/oG7ltZ4dg2A

Air Guitar on Flickr.

Hasselblad 500 C/M
80mm f/2.8 Zeiss
Fuji Polaroid FP 100c
Location: Mulholland Drive

There’s a moment in time where nothing else matters. Nothing else exists. It’s complete innocence and absolute serenity. It’s a feeling that boils inside of you. Like pressure from a volcano you hold it back as long as you can until the emotion shoots out without reservation. A beat, a strum, a chord or a voice. Just a simple musical action grabs you from the simple life of humanity and at the speed of thought gets you to involuntarily raise your hands and play the drums, sing along,… or strum the guitar. Air guitar. In that moment it’s just you. The world around you is what you imagine it to be.
youtu.be/oG7ltZ4dg2A